The four elements of story-telling

A teacher is telling her class of 7 year olds about what makes a good story. She says there are four essential elements:

'One: religion. You all know how important God is in our lives and we must remember to include him in our stories, too, children.
Two: royalty, or the aristocracy. I expect lots of your mummies read Hello magazine and you know how we all love to hear about famous people, so let's include them to make our stories interesting.
Three: se... sorry, romance,' she quickly corrects herself, remembering the kids are very young. 'Again you know how it's always lovely to hear about people falling in love and getting married. If you write about that, people will be bound to want to read your stories.
And finally, four: mystery. The other three elements are all very well to get people interested, but here we can make sure they keep reading right to the very end. So, can we just recap what those four essential elements were, children?'
And, dutifully, they chorus 'Religion, Royalty, Romance, and Mystery.'

'Very good. Now I want you all to write me a story. And don't forget, it must include all those points.' And she sits down thankfully, thinking that that'll keep them busy for half an hour or so.

Three minutes later, little Johnny puts up his hand. 'Miss, Miss, I've finished Miss.'
'What, Johnny? You've written a story?'
'Yes, Miss.'
'Including all four of the essential elements?'
'Yes, Miss.'
'You've written about religion?'
'Yes, Miss.'
'And royalty?'
'Yes, Miss. And sex and mystery.'
'Romance, Johnny, romance.'
'Whatever, Miss, I've writ about it.'
The teacher sees she has no alternative. 'Very well, bring your book up to my desk, Johnny, and read me your story.'
Arriving at her desk, Johnny takes a big breath: '"My God!" said the princess. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who it was?"'