Problems with your PC?

Overheard in a computer shop:

Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"

Customer in computer shop: "Can you copy the Internet onto this disk for me?"

Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh…uh…uh…yeah."

From the Helpdesk:

A woman called the Canon helpdesk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that's a good point: the man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."

A man attempting to set up his new printer called the help line complaining about the error message "Can't find the printer." He said he had even held the printer up in front of the screen, but the computer still couldn't find it.

And another user was all confused about why the cursor always moved in the opposite direction from the movement of the mouse. She also complained that the buttons were difficult to depress. She was very embarrassed when we asked her to rotate the mouse so that the tail pointed away from her.

This guy calls in to complain that he gets an 'Access Denied' message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his username and password in capital letters.
Tech Support: "OK, Let's try once more, but use lower case letters."
Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."